I don’t give an arse for ass

It’s not every day I get to talk about the difference between arse and ass in this company. I mean, we do have other things to do. But in the spirit of linguistic anal retentiveness I want to get something off my chest - I want talk about buttocks.

Yes, you heard me.

‘Arse’ is a lovely old coarse word for the buttocks, and it originates from Old English, or Anglo-Saxon, before AD1100. ‘Ass’ on the other hand, is a beast of burden, yes a donkey. How the two came to be confused, I don't know. Actually I do, that's what three years studying linguistics does for you. Sluggishness to prounounce the ‘R’s in speech culture has led to a preference for ‘Ass’ over 'Arse' over time. Technically, linguists refer to this as the loss of the ‘rhotic’ nature in Standard British English. I call it damned laziness.

When someone complains that her ‘Ass’ is huge, and points to her bum I always wonder what she's doing with a herbivorous quadriped up there, though I'm far too polite to ask.

Anyway, I hope I've made my point. And don't get me started on the illogicality of American spelling. Time to get back to my interview piece with India’s Economic Czar, Dr Montek Singh Deputy Chairman with the Planning Commission of India (who spoke very rhotically, I'm pleased to say). Coming soon to Urban Development Asia!