Bending it like Beckham

Alphabet gives a whole new meaning to afternoon footy. Instead of putting on muddy football boots and running forlornly around a sun-hardened pitch, we have an altogether more civilised version. Cross Wembley Stadium with The Office and you get the picture.

It all started many moons ago when Avaya gave us a football during the last World Cup. We've been happily booting it around our office ever since. However as the mighty Alphabet empire has expanded across the entire 4th floor, we've had the space to get more adventurous with our dazzling displays of footballing skills.

We may never again attain the heights of artistry that Chirag used to reach, but J2 is pretty handy with keeping the ball in the air, Chris is a good goalie, and I like to think of myself as a defender in the same mould as Arsenal's old Adams-Bould-Keown-Dixon back four. Couple this with Captain's never-say-die dribbling runs, Jianggan's very theatrical huffing-and-puffing and Bryan's Beckhamesque skincare regime, and I think you'll agree that we have the makings of a very fine footballing side.

There has, admittedly, been some collateral damage in our pursuit of sporting excellence. I'd like to say on record how very sorry I am to have smashed Chris' coffee mug. And Dawn came very close to a couple of black eyes the other day (my fault again).

But the results are there for all to see, generally around 5pm when the pace of work begins to slow down. I swear, it's like watching Brazil. I'm not sure why we boys* put in as much energy into office footy as we do. But whatever else you might say about Alphabet Media, we've got balls!

*Attempts to form a ladies team are ongoing.